Katie H- A Journey With No Calling

 Aug 30th 

"every animal is in the world like water in water"

in class Dr Redick used a story of a worm/wasp behavior being compared to OCD which I feel isn't fair, maybe it would be closer to reproduction, as it is an intentional action (unlike breathing) but is a driving force by our very nature. 

Sometimes a journey isn’t yours to choose. Any kind of healing journey- physical or mental journey. Physical health journeys typically take others with you. The reason I came to this school is because its closer to home because my father is on a medical journey. within the past year, he has had a heart attack, quadruple bypass, 4 amputations, COVID, C-Diff (dysentary), loss of vision in one eye, full sepsis spending to his brain, 3 vascular angioplasty, 1 vascular bypass in the leg, and CLL. he was very close to death multiple times while was in college in NY. that forced my mother an I on a different journey that we did not choose, but quickly became necessary. For my mother, she has become the main caretaker of my father. She did not choose the journey of being a caretaker by becoming a nurse, but rather was forced into it by circumstance. it also forced my family to change their goals in their other separate journeys. my original goal in my educational journey was to graduate from Marist College and study abroad. my new goal is to ensure that if something else were to happen, I would be able to return home within 3 hours. A new goal is to graduate from CNU and remain close to home as long as is needed. this idea was briefly discussed in relation to LOTR where a character in the book did not choose the journey but was roped into it, and become integral in the journey. I did not choose to be on the journey of keeping my father alive, but I drove him to the hospital many times, changed bandages over amputations, cleaned up, fed, held his hand as the anesthesia needle went in, and monitored my father at home when I was asked to. Now as my father stabilizes, I will help teach him to walk again, help him regain his independence, and eventually teach my father to drive just as he taught me. 

The main point I have seen in a calling is that it has no endpoint. It is never satisfied with the goals already completed, and pushes you to keep going forward. you can be on a journey with no calling to it. I have no calling to be a nurse and take care of sick people as bodily fluids makes me nauseated. however, I am on the journey of being a caretaker to my family.